The Complete Guide to Informal Roommate Agreements

Your lease covers rent and damage deposits. It does not cover who cleans the bathroom, whether overnight guests are okay on weeknights, or what happens when someone's partner is over five nights a week. Those are the things that actually determine whether living together will be pleasant or miserable.

An informal roommate agreement fills the gap between what your lease says and what daily life requires. Here's how to create one that covers what actually matters.

Why Bother With a Written Agreement?

Because "I assumed we were on the same page" is the beginning of almost every roommate horror story. People have wildly different definitions of "clean," "quiet," "fair share," and "too many guests." A written agreement doesn't eliminate disagreements, but it gives you a shared reference point when they happen.

This is true whether you're living with a best friend, a casual acquaintance, or someone you found on a listing site.

What to Cover: The Complete Checklist

Finances

Your lease handles the total rent, but your agreement should handle everything else.

Rent split:

Equal split, or adjusted based on room size, private bathroom, etc.?
Due date for each person's share
What happens if someone pays late
Who actually sends the payment to the landlord

Utilities and shared expenses:

Which utilities are split (electricity, water, internet, streaming services)
How they're split (equal, by usage, etc.)
Who manages each account
Shared household supplies (toilet paper, dish soap, cleaning products) — shared cost or each person buys their own?

Security deposit:

How damage costs are allocated if they're caused by one specific person

For more on splitting costs fairly, see tracking shared expenses fairly.

Shared Spaces

This is where most roommate conflicts live.

Kitchen:

Shared groceries or separate?
Labeling food — yes or no?
Dishes: how long can they sit in the sink? (Seriously, agree on a number.)
Cooking smells — any restrictions?

Bathroom:

Cleaning schedule
Shower time limits during peak hours?
Storage space allocation

Living room and common areas:

Who can use the TV and when
Decorating decisions
General tidiness expectations

Storage:

Closet and storage space allocation
Garage or basement sharing

Cleaning

This deserves its own section because it causes more fights than almost anything else.

Options for organizing cleaning:

Rotating schedule: Everyone takes turns with each chore on a weekly or biweekly rotation.
Fixed assignments: Each person is permanently responsible for specific tasks based on preference.
Shared cleaning time: Everyone cleans at the same designated time each week.
Hired help: Split the cost of a cleaner (monthly or biweekly) for common areas.

Whatever system you choose, define what "clean" means for each task. "Clean the kitchen" can mean anything from "wipe the counter" to "scrub the oven." Be specific.

Sample cleaning section:

Kitchen: Person A cleans Monday, Person B cleans Thursday. "Clean" means: dishes done, counters and stove wiped, floor swept, trash taken out if full. Deep clean (oven, fridge, microwave) rotates monthly.

Guests and Overnight Visitors

This is the second biggest source of roommate conflict.

Questions to address:

How many nights per week can a guest stay over?
Is advance notice required? How much?
Are there quiet hours that apply to guests?
Can guests use shared spaces (kitchen, bathroom, living room) freely?
At what point does a frequent guest start contributing to utilities?
Are parties or gatherings okay? How often? Until what time?

A reasonable starting point: Guests are welcome up to 3 nights per week without advance notice. More than that, or extended stays beyond a week, require a conversation and mutual agreement. All guests follow the same house rules regarding noise, shared spaces, and cleanliness.

Noise and Quiet Hours

Designated quiet hours (e.g., 10 PM to 8 AM on weeknights, midnight to 9 AM on weekends)
Headphone expectations for music, TV, and gaming during quiet hours
Morning routines — is it okay to be loud at 6 AM if you're an early riser?
Music, instruments, or video calls during the day

Personal Boundaries

Borrowing items — ask first, always, or some things are communal?
Entering each other's rooms — knock always, or is it casual?
Using each other's personal items (chargers, toiletries, etc.)
Privacy expectations regarding personal conversations and information

Pets

If either person has or wants a pet, cover:

Which pets are allowed (and any allergies to account for)
Who is responsible for pet messes, noise, and damage
Pet-free zones in the home
Whether pet-related costs are shared or individual

Conflict Resolution

Agree on a process before you need it.

A simple three-step process:

Direct conversation. Raise the issue within 48 hours, calmly and privately.
Written follow-up. If the conversation doesn't resolve it, put the issue in writing (text or email) to ensure both sides understand the problem.
Third-party help. If you're stuck, bring in a mutual friend or, for serious issues, a mediator.

Ground rules for disagreements:

No passive-aggressive notes
No venting to other roommates instead of addressing the person directly
No bringing up old, resolved issues
Focus on the behavior, not the person

Exit Terms

People move out. Plan for it.

How much notice is required before moving out (30 days is standard, 60 is better)
Responsibility for finding a replacement roommate
Does the remaining roommate have veto power over potential replacements?
How shared items are divided
Condition of the room when vacated (cleaned, patched holes, etc.)
How the security deposit is handled

For more on ending shared arrangements, see how much notice before ending.

Sample Agreement Structure

ROOMMATE AGREEMENT

Date: [Date]
Roommates: [Names]
Address: [Address]
Lease dates: [Start] to [End]

1. FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES
   Rent split: [Details]
   Utilities: [Details]
   Shared expenses: [Details]

2. SHARED SPACES AND CLEANLINESS
   Kitchen rules: [Details]
   Bathroom schedule: [Details]
   Cleaning rotation: [Details]

3. GUESTS AND VISITORS
   Overnight limits: [Details]
   Notice requirements: [Details]
   Contribution threshold: [Details]

4. NOISE AND QUIET HOURS
   Weeknight quiet hours: [Times]
   Weekend quiet hours: [Times]

5. PERSONAL BOUNDARIES
   [Details]

6. CONFLICT RESOLUTION
   Step 1: Direct conversation
   Step 2: Written follow-up
   Step 3: Third-party mediation

7. MOVING OUT
   Notice required: [Days]
   Replacement process: [Details]

Signatures:
[Each roommate signs and dates]

Tips for Success

Review it regularly. Schedule a "roommate check-in" every month or two. Is the agreement working? Does anything need to change?

Be flexible. An agreement is a starting point, not a rigid set of laws. Life happens. The spirit of the agreement matters more than the letter.

Address problems early. Small annoyances become big resentments if you let them build up. If something's not working, say so — kindly, but directly. For more on handling awkward conversations, see handling disagreements without blowing up.

Remember: you're sharing a home, not a courtroom. The goal is peaceful coexistence, not strict compliance. Approach the agreement with goodwill and flexibility, and expect the same in return.

For more on different types of casual agreements, visit the types of casual agreements hub.