What a Good Exit Clause Should Actually Include

Nobody wants to plan for the end of something before it has even started. But an exit clause is not pessimistic—it is practical. It is the part of your arrangement that ensures both people can walk away cleanly, fairly, and without unnecessary drama.

Think of it like a prenup for your arrangement. You hope you never need it, but if you do, you will be profoundly grateful it exists.

Here is exactly what a good exit clause should cover.

Why You Need an Exit Clause

Most arrangement agreements cover what happens while things are going well—financial terms, meeting schedules, boundaries, confidentiality expectations. Far fewer address what happens when things end.

Without an exit clause:

One person might feel blindsided by a sudden ending with no transition period.
Financial obligations become ambiguous. Does the current month's allowance get prorated? Paid in full? Withheld entirely?
Private information has no defined protection period after the arrangement ends.
Physical items (gifts, shared purchases, keys) have no agreed-upon disposition.
There is no framework for communication after the arrangement—leading to either painful silence or unwanted contact.

An exit clause removes ambiguity from the one moment in your arrangement where emotions are highest and clear thinking is hardest.

Component 1: How Either Party Can Initiate the Exit

The exit clause should clearly state that either person can end the arrangement at any time, for any reason or no reason at all. This is non-negotiable. No one should be locked into an arrangement they want to leave.

What to include:

Unilateral right to exit. "Either party may end this arrangement at any time."
No-fault language. "Neither party is required to provide a reason for ending the arrangement."
Method of notification. How should the other person be told? In person, by phone, in writing? Specify a preferred method, with a fallback. Example: "The ending should be communicated in person or by phone. If the other party is unreachable, a written message (text or email) is acceptable."

Component 2: Notice Period

An abrupt ending can cause practical and emotional whiplash. A notice period gives both people time to adjust.

What to consider:

Reasonable duration. For most casual arrangements, 7 to 14 days is appropriate. Longer notice periods (30 days) may make sense for arrangements with significant financial components.
Exceptions. Immediate exit should be permitted in cases of safety concerns, harassment, privacy breaches, or illegal behavior.
What happens during the notice period. Do meetings continue? Does financial support continue? Is it a clean break with a delayed effective date? Be specific.

Example language:

Either party will provide at least 14 days notice before ending the arrangement. During the notice period, financial support will continue at the current agreed rate. Either party may request a shorter notice period, subject to mutual agreement. In cases involving safety or serious boundary violations, either party may exit immediately without a notice period.

Component 3: Financial Wind-Down

This is where most exit clauses either shine or fail. Money during a breakup is contentious—remove the guesswork.

What to include:

Final payment. Is the current period's allowance paid in full, prorated to the exit date, or discontinued immediately?
Outstanding expenses. How are any unpaid shared expenses settled? See How to Track Shared Expenses Fairly.
Gifts and property. Are gifts given during the arrangement returned? (Usually no—a gift is a gift.) What about shared purchases, keys, or other items?
No future obligation. Once the financial wind-down is complete, neither party has any ongoing financial obligation to the other.

Example language:

Upon ending the arrangement, the providing party will complete any financial support due for the current period (month, week, etc.). No further financial support is owed after that period. All gifts given during the arrangement are considered the permanent property of the recipient. Any shared expenses will be settled within 14 days of the arrangement's end date using existing records.

For more on how to handle the financial transition, see What Happens When Financial Terms Change.

Component 4: Confidentiality After the Arrangement

This might be the most important section of the entire exit clause. What happens to your secrets when the arrangement is over?

What to include:

Continued confidentiality. State explicitly that all confidentiality obligations survive the end of the arrangement.
Duration. For how long? One year? Three years? Indefinitely for certain categories (like intimate images)?
Specific obligations. Neither party will share the other's personal information, financial details, or intimate content with any third party.
Social media provisions. Both parties agree not to post, share, or reference the arrangement on social media after it ends. See Social Media Boundaries in Arrangements.

Example language:

All confidentiality obligations established in this agreement survive the end of the arrangement indefinitely. Neither party will disclose the other's identity, personal information, financial details, or any intimate content to any third party. This obligation has no expiration date for intimate images and content, and extends for a period of three years for all other confidential information.

Component 5: Data Deletion

In a digital world, ending an arrangement means cleaning up the digital trail. This section addresses what happens to texts, photos, and other digital artifacts.

What to include:

Timeline for deletion. Both parties agree to delete specified data within a defined timeframe (7-30 days is typical).
What to delete. Messages, photos, videos, voice recordings, saved contacts (if appropriate), and any cloud-stored copies.
Confirmation. Both parties confirm deletion in writing (a simple text is fine).
What to keep. If either party needs to retain records for legal or tax purposes (see Tax Implications of Financial Arrangements), specify what can be kept and under what conditions.

Example language:

Within 14 days of the arrangement's end, both parties will delete all intimate photos, videos, and recordings of the other person from all devices and cloud storage. Both parties will confirm deletion in writing. Financial records may be retained for tax purposes but must be stored securely and not shared with any third party.

For more on digital privacy during and after arrangements, see Digital Privacy in Casual Agreements.

Component 6: Post-Arrangement Contact

Ambiguity about contact after the arrangement ends is a recipe for hurt feelings and misunderstandings.

What to include:

Default contact level. No contact? Friendly but infrequent? Staying connected on social media?
Cool-off period. Consider a minimum period of no contact (30-90 days) after the arrangement ends, even if both people intend to stay friendly eventually.
Boundaries on contact. Neither party will show up at the other's home, workplace, or social gatherings uninvited.
Opt-out. Either party can request no contact at any time after the arrangement ends, and the other party will respect that request immediately.

Example language:

Following the end of the arrangement, both parties agree to a 30-day no-contact period. After this period, friendly contact is permitted if both parties consent. Either party may request no further contact at any time, and this request will be respected immediately and without retaliation.

Component 7: Dispute Resolution

Even with the best exit clause, disagreements can happen. Include a basic framework for resolving them.

What to include:

Direct conversation first. Both parties agree to attempt to resolve any post-arrangement disputes through direct communication.
Mediation as a second step. If direct conversation fails, consider mediation through a neutral third party.
No public airing of disputes. Both parties agree not to discuss disputes publicly, on social media, or with mutual acquaintances.

Putting It All Together: A Sample Exit Clause

Here is a complete exit clause you can adapt for your own arrangement:

Exit Terms

Either party may end this arrangement at any time for any reason. The ending party will provide at least 14 days written or verbal notice, except in cases involving safety concerns, in which case immediate exit is permitted.

During the notice period, all terms of the arrangement remain in effect, including financial support.

Upon the arrangement's end, the providing party will complete financial support for the current period. No further financial obligations exist after that date. All gifts are the permanent property of the recipient.

All confidentiality obligations survive the end of the arrangement. Neither party will disclose the other's identity, personal details, or intimate content. This obligation is indefinite for intimate content and extends three years for all other information.

Both parties will delete intimate photos, videos, and recordings within 14 days and confirm deletion in writing.

A 30-day no-contact period begins on the arrangement's end date. After this period, contact is permitted only with mutual consent. Either party may request permanent no-contact at any time.

Any disputes will be addressed through direct conversation first. If unresolved, both parties agree to seek mediation before taking any other action.

What People Get Wrong

"An exit clause means we expect it to fail." Every professional contract has termination provisions. It is standard practice—not a bad omen.

"We will figure it out when the time comes." You will not. Breakups are emotional. The decisions you make in the heat of that emotion are almost always worse than the decisions you make calmly, in advance. That is the entire point of writing things down.

"The exit clause only protects one person." A well-written exit clause protects both parties. Both people have privacy to protect, emotional transitions to manage, and practical details to resolve.

"We do not need one because we will always be friends." Maybe. But you do not know that yet. An exit clause is insurance for the scenario you did not anticipate.

The Bottom Line

A good exit clause is an act of mutual respect. It says: "I care about this arrangement enough to plan for its responsible conclusion." It is not about expecting failure—it is about ensuring that if the arrangement ends, it ends with the same clarity and mutual consideration that started it.

Write the exit clause before you need it. You will thank yourself later.