How to Write an Exit Clause Both Parties Will Respect

Nobody wants to talk about endings when something is just beginning. That reluctance is exactly why so many casual arrangements end badly—no one planned for it, so when the time comes, both parties are improvising under emotional stress with no agreed-upon process.

An exit clause is not pessimistic. It is the most optimistic thing in your agreement. It says: "We believe this arrangement can end respectfully, and we have planned for that."

Why Exit Clauses Matter More Than You Think

Without an exit clause, ending an arrangement usually goes one of two ways:

The slow ghost. One person gradually reduces contact until the other gets the message. This avoids confrontation but causes prolonged confusion and hurt feelings.
The abrupt cutoff. One person ends everything without warning. The other is blindsided—emotionally, and potentially financially.

Both approaches share the same flaw: they leave one person with no control over how the ending unfolds. An exit clause gives both parties a predictable, dignified process.

The Components of a Strong Exit Clause

1. The Right to Exit

State it plainly: either party can end the arrangement at any time, for any reason, without needing to justify the decision.

This sounds obvious, but writing it down establishes an important principle—no one is trapped. The arrangement continues only as long as both people want it to. See our article on making sure both parties can actually say no for more on why this matters.

2. Notice Period

How much advance notice does the exiting party owe the other? Common options:

24-48 hours: For arrangements with minimal interdependence
7 days: For arrangements involving regular meetings and moderate financial terms
14-30 days: For arrangements involving significant financial support, shared housing, or other deep interdependence
60-90 days: For cohabitation or arrangements where one party's housing depends on the other

The notice period should reflect the level of interdependence. If one person's daily life would be significantly disrupted by an immediate exit, the notice period needs to be long enough for them to make alternative arrangements.

3. How Notice Is Delivered

Specify the method:

In person
Written message (text, email)
Through a specific communication channel

The method matters because it creates a clear record. "I told you last week" versus "you never said anything" is a preventable dispute. Written notice—even a simple text—creates documentation.

Also specify: Is the exiting party required to give a reason? In most casual agreements, the answer should be no. Requiring a reason invites argument and creates pressure to justify a decision that should be autonomous.

4. What Happens During the Notice Period

This is where most exit clauses fail. They define the notice period but not what happens during it.

Address:

Financial obligations: Do financial terms continue during the notice period? (Usually yes—this gives the other party a buffer.)
Meetings and contact: Do you continue meeting during the notice period, or does contact stop immediately? Both approaches are valid; the important thing is that both parties agree.
Practical matters: If you share keys, access to accounts, or other practical connections, when and how are these transferred?

5. Financial Terms Upon Exit

This section is critical for arrangements with a financial component:

Final payment: When is the last payment made? Is it prorated if the notice period does not align with the payment schedule?
Transition support: If one party depends on the other for housing or essential expenses, is there a transition period where support continues after the arrangement ends? (This is a fairness issue—see our article on financial power in agreements.)
Outstanding obligations: Are there any debts, shared expenses, or financial commitments that need to be settled?
Gifts and property: What happens to gifts given during the arrangement? (Generally, gifts are the recipient's property. Stating this prevents post-arrangement demands for returns.)

6. Confidentiality After Exit

Your confidentiality section should survive the end of the arrangement, but the exit clause should reinforce this:

Confidentiality obligations continue indefinitely (or for a specified period)
Both parties delete private photos, messages, and personal data within a specified timeframe
Deletion is confirmed in writing
Neither party will discuss the arrangement publicly after it ends

Post-arrangement is when confidentiality breaches are most likely. People feel hurt, angry, or vengeful. Having clear post-exit confidentiality terms—written when both parties were calm—provides a reference point during emotional times.

7. Post-Arrangement Contact

Should there be a no-contact period after the arrangement ends? This depends on the type of arrangement:

Sugar arrangements: A clean break with no contact is often healthiest.
Friends with benefits: You may want to maintain the friendship. Define a cooling-off period and then resume platonic contact.
Roommates: You may need to continue communicating about practical matters (lease, shared bills).
Business partnerships: Ongoing communication may be necessary for business continuity.

Whatever you decide, write it down. Ambiguity about post-arrangement contact causes unnecessary anxiety.

What People Get Wrong

"We'll just handle it like adults." You might. Or one of you might be heartbroken, angry, or scared, and "handling it like adults" might not be realistic in that moment. The exit clause is there for the moments when emotions override good judgment.

Making the exit clause punitive. An exit clause that punishes the person who leaves is not an exit clause—it is a lock-in mechanism. If leaving triggers financial penalties, loss of property, or threats of exposure, the arrangement is coercive. Exit clauses should make leaving manageable, not painful.

Requiring mutual agreement to end the arrangement. This is a trap. If both parties must agree to end the arrangement, then one person can hold the other hostage. Either party should be able to exit unilaterally. The notice period and transition terms protect the other party's interests without requiring their permission.

Ignoring the power differential. An exit clause that gives both parties "equal" terms may not be fair if their circumstances are unequal. If one person earns six figures and the other depends on the arrangement for rent money, "30 days' notice" means something very different to each of them. Fair exit terms account for this asymmetry.

Forgetting about shared digital access. Shared streaming accounts, cloud storage, location sharing, smart home devices—the digital connections between two people in an arrangement can be extensive. Your exit clause should include a process for disconnecting all of these.

A Template Exit Clause

Adapt this for your specific arrangement:

Exit Terms

Either party may end this arrangement at any time, for any reason, without obligation to provide a reason.

The exiting party will provide [number] days' written notice via [method].

During the notice period, [financial terms continue / meetings continue / contact is limited to practical matters].

Upon the end of the arrangement:

Final financial payment will be made on [date/terms].

[Transition support terms, if applicable.]

Both parties will return or destroy any property belonging to the other party within [timeframe].

Both parties will delete private photos, messages, and personal data within [timeframe] and confirm deletion in writing.

All confidentiality obligations continue [indefinitely / for X months/years].

Neither party will contact the other for [timeframe] unless necessary for practical matters related to the arrangement's conclusion.

The Bottom Line

An exit clause is not about expecting the worst. It is about ensuring that, if the arrangement ends, it ends with the same respect and clarity it began with. Write it while you are both invested in each other's well-being—because that is when you will write the fairest terms.

For more on building complete agreements, visit our Writing Your Agreement hub, and for understanding the dynamics that make exit clauses especially important, explore our Power Dynamics and Fairness hub.