How to Structure a Casual Agreement (Step by Step)

You have decided to put your casual arrangement in writing. Good. Now you are staring at a blank page wondering where to start.

This guide walks you through the structure of a casual agreement step by step. It works for any type of arrangement—sugar arrangements, friends with benefits, roommate agreements, mentorships, or anything else where two people want clear expectations.

Before You Start Writing

Have the Conversation First

Do not draft the agreement and then present it to the other person. That approach creates an immediate power imbalance—the person who writes the first draft controls the framing, the priorities, and the language.

Instead, have an open conversation about expectations, boundaries, and concerns. Take notes during this conversation. The agreement you eventually write should reflect what both of you discussed, not what one person decided.

Decide on the Format

You have options:

Shared document (Google Doc, shared note): Both parties can edit. Good for collaborative drafting.
PDF: More formal. Good for a final version that should not be edited after signing.
Paper: Traditional. Good for people who want a physical copy.

The format matters less than the content. Choose whatever both of you are comfortable with. For a deeper comparison, see our article on digital vs. paper agreements.

Choose Your Language

Write in a way that both parties understand. If neither of you is a lawyer, do not write like one. Plain language is almost always better than legal jargon for casual agreements. We cover this in detail in our plain language vs. legal language guide.

The Structure: Section by Section

Section 1: Introduction

Start with the basics:

Who: How each party will be referred to in the agreement (first names, chosen names, or pseudonyms)
What: A one- or two-sentence description of the arrangement
When: The date the agreement takes effect
Purpose statement: Why you are writing this down (e.g., "to ensure both parties have a clear, shared understanding of expectations and commitments")

Example:

This agreement is between Alex and Jordan, effective March 15, 2025. It establishes the terms of a mutually beneficial arrangement involving companionship and financial support. The purpose of this document is to ensure both parties share a clear understanding of expectations, boundaries, and commitments.

Keep it simple. This section just sets the stage.

Section 2: Terms of the Arrangement

This is the meat of the agreement. What does each person commit to?

Structure this as two subsections—one for each party's commitments. Be specific:

Party A agrees to:

[Specific commitment 1]
[Specific commitment 2]
[Specific commitment 3]

Party B agrees to:

[Specific commitment 1]
[Specific commitment 2]
[Specific commitment 3]

The key principle: if it matters, write it down. If you would be upset about it not happening, it should be in the agreement. If you would be upset about it happening, it should be addressed in the boundaries section.

Section 3: Financial Terms

If your arrangement involves any financial component, this section needs to be thorough. Cover:

Amounts
Frequency and timing
Payment method
What is covered and what is not
What happens with missed payments

See our dedicated guide on writing financial terms clearly for detailed advice on this section.

Section 4: Boundaries

What is off-limits? Both parties should contribute to this section. Common boundaries to address:

Physical boundaries
Emotional boundaries (e.g., expectations about emotional availability)
Time boundaries (availability, response times, scheduled vs. spontaneous meetings)
Social boundaries (who knows about the arrangement, public behavior)
Digital boundaries (social media, photos, messaging platforms)

Write boundaries as clear statements, not vague guidelines:

Vague: "Respect each other's time."
Clear: "Neither party will contact the other between 11 PM and 8 AM unless it is an emergency."

Section 5: Confidentiality

Who knows about this arrangement, and what information is private? Cover:

What specific information is confidential
Who (if anyone) is allowed to know about the arrangement
What communication channels are used
What happens to private information if the arrangement ends
Consequences for breaching confidentiality

This section is important enough to warrant its own guide: writing a confidentiality section that actually works.

Section 6: Duration and Review

Start date: When the arrangement begins
Initial term: Is there a trial period? A set duration?
Renewal: Does it auto-renew, or do both parties actively agree to continue?
Review schedule: When do you check in to discuss whether the terms still work? (Monthly or quarterly is typical.)

Regular reviews are what keep an agreement alive. Without them, the written terms and the actual arrangement slowly diverge until the agreement is meaningless.

Section 7: Amendments

How do you change the terms? Cover:

Both parties must agree to changes
Changes must be documented in writing
How to propose a change
Previous versions are retained

See our guide on handling amendments and updates for more detail.

Section 8: Exit Clause

How does either party end this arrangement? This is one of the most important sections. Cover:

Notice period
How notice is delivered
What happens during the notice period
Financial obligations during and after the exit
Return or destruction of confidential information
Post-arrangement obligations (ongoing confidentiality, transition support)

For a deep dive, see how to write an exit clause both parties will respect.

Section 9: Dispute Resolution

What happens when you disagree about the terms?

Step 1: Direct conversation between both parties
Step 2: Cooling-off period (24-48 hours) followed by another conversation
Step 3: Mediation by a mutually agreed-upon third party
Step 4: [Define what happens if mediation fails]

Having a process prevents disagreements from escalating into personal attacks.

Section 10: Signatures and Date

Both parties sign and date the agreement. Both parties keep a copy. If using a digital format, electronic signatures or even a simple typed acknowledgment ("I, [name], agree to the terms outlined above") can work for casual agreements.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Writing it alone. The agreement should be a joint product. If one person writes the whole thing, the other person is reviewing, not collaborating. That is a power imbalance.

Being vague where it matters. "Financial support as needed" is not a term. "Reasonable availability" is not a commitment. If you cannot define it, you cannot enforce it.

Forgetting the exit clause. People skip this because it feels pessimistic. It is not pessimistic—it is essential. The time to agree on how to end things is when you are both calm and positive, not when someone is angry or hurt.

Making it too long. A casual agreement should be 2-5 pages. If yours is longer, you are probably including unnecessary detail. Focus on what matters most and leave the rest to good-faith communication.

Never revisiting it. An agreement that was written six months ago and never reviewed is probably outdated. Schedule reviews and actually do them.

The Bottom Line

A well-structured casual agreement is not complicated. It covers who does what, how money works, where the boundaries are, how to change things, and how to end things. That is it.

The process of writing it together is often more valuable than the document itself. It forces both parties to have the conversations that most people avoid—and those conversations are what make arrangements work.

For more on writing effective agreements, visit our Writing Your Agreement hub.